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poppyseedheartHellooooo~ happy NYE! It's time for me to reflect on everything I published this year and see how that goes.
This year I published 88k to AO3 - this doesn't count various twitter drabbles I posted, or little things that stayed in docs, but those wouldn't amount to more than idk 15k all together anyway. This is really low for me! (I average 200-250k written/year and most of that gets posted.) Everyone does things at their own pace and we all have up and down years etc but it's wild to see that number. Additional context that is important is that I wrote an additional.... 100k maybe? Between unpublished WIPs and original fiction, so then that number feels a lot more familiar. I'll be publishing idk like 110k in the first couple months of 2023 so we can call that a head start.
My fandoms included, in alphabetical order:
Events I participated in included:
In 2023 I hope to actually complete a novel draft that I feel has potential! I want to write more short stories and keep submitting. I want to try some weird experimental stuff with fic! I liked that people liked my fluffy stories this year but next year I think I want to continue my tradition where anything in that light/fluffy vein is something that doesn't take me longer than a sitting or two to write. I want to keep stretching myself and learning and bumping up against my own walls. I want to see what it takes to bring those walls down, or push them out a little further. And I want to have soooo much fun and get wild and worry less. Idk how all of these things go together but we'll try.
I'd love to join or even start a writing salon near me! My job is gonna be really flexible and I want to take advantage of that and orient things so I have time to do what I love <3 which is writing <3 I mean I'm hoping I'll love my job most days too but that's less in my control yk.
If you have been part of this journey thank you! I love you! We made it through another year — let's go do it again. <3
This year I published 88k to AO3 - this doesn't count various twitter drabbles I posted, or little things that stayed in docs, but those wouldn't amount to more than idk 15k all together anyway. This is really low for me! (I average 200-250k written/year and most of that gets posted.) Everyone does things at their own pace and we all have up and down years etc but it's wild to see that number. Additional context that is important is that I wrote an additional.... 100k maybe? Between unpublished WIPs and original fiction, so then that number feels a lot more familiar. I'll be publishing idk like 110k in the first couple months of 2023 so we can call that a head start.
My fandoms included, in alphabetical order:
- ATEEZ
- Original Work
- SEVENTEEN
- Star Wars (this was a nonsense fanwork I don't know anything about star wars)
- Stray Kids
- and a fandom that will be revealed in a few hours I think! I'll update this, maybe, when Yuletide reveals happen. If I remember.
Events I participated in included:
- Pod-together
- Xover Fest
- "Just post something in April" fest with friends, no parameters
- Small closed event w friends where we spun different tropes on a wheel and wrote fic incorporating them, then guessed who wrote what
- Another small closed event that was a fic exchange for the holidays
- Yuletide (as usual)
i blame myself / i blame you (skz 2min, 12k)
+ 3 podfics, not including fx3 (which is also a podfic, but i wrote the script for it so i'm counting it as a written fic for the purposes of this!)
In terms of how it felt to write all of these things, this was a year of high highs and low lows! I used about half my nano words to work on an original novel that I don't think has legs in its current form, I wrote and started shopping around a short story that hasn't found a home, and I almost tore my hair out several times with a few of these fics, particularly the ones that have deadlines. I think I'm in another creative growth period where I know what's not working in my writing but not always how to fix it, which is evil. This said, I'm also really deeply proud of a lot of the things I wrote! I did more fluff than usual lol (this is mostly Molly's fault I kept writing her cute chanlixes), but I also wrote some stories that are so deeeeeply in my wheelhouse. what's mine is yours is the most notable one — it's not done and probably won't be for a while, but it's just so me! Weird and mean and speculative and canon-adjacent... I'm really proud of what I have of it and I'm excited to bring it home. I added another fic to my series but it's the way it is, and have written another 6k of another unfinished segment, and that story feels like me finally giving myself permission to write something so true it scares me. I got a lot of really incredible kind feedback on my writing, I'm connected with friends both online and locally (and in many cases both!) who are also writers and who are at similar places/have similar goals to me wrt writing. It's just cool. It was a really fun year creatively in a lot of ways even when I was scared I'm a talentless hack who everyone is just being nice to and indulging lmao. At least I'm having a good time, mostly!
- My little 2min manifesto! This was my second ever skz fic that I wrote and it's my most popular by a pretty wide margin. Maybe because it's longer, maybe because it's sort of a classic getting together in canon mutual pining story, maybe because I posted it in two installments so it got a lot more hits than it otherwise might have. I got fanart for this fic (!!! <3333) which was SUCH a cool moment.
ask / answer (svt jeongcheol, 5k)
- My birthday fic, for some reason. My first and to date only omegaverse story. Also one of the only things I've written that grapples with gender/gender identity/transness. And one of my only explicit fics. What a standout little story! I was reaaaally nervous to post it but it was received warmly so thank you to anyone who said nice things <3
or else a love with intuition (skz minsung, 1.5k)
- My only minsung to date, and it's not even particularly romantic! I don't know man, this came out of a twitter prompt and the song was too perfect. More than anything it's just another entry in my "biasing lee know" oeuvre where I get to think about how I love him so much and I love how he loves people quietly and is genuinely prickly etc etc ad nauseum.
i wanna watch it back, and then— (svt hoshi-centric, 6k)
- Decisively a fic about the aftermath of acute suicidality. Every entry to this series is raw but this one was the most challenging to finish writing, and the only one that got a beta read bc I needed help. A tricky little story and one that is very dear to my heart.
- What is ao3 user poppyseedheart doing writing meditative fluff and a darling little bite-sized confession scene?? We just don't know. This one like a couple others on the list is one that I'm fond of but that I don't think I did anything particularly interesting with. Which is fine! Fic doesn't have to be groundbreaking! But I like pushing myself so this one is less memorable to me bc I wrote it so fast and let it be easy.
fission (noun, verb) (skz chanlix, 5k)
- Now this one I do think about fairly often! This one was written for Molly's birthday and I scared myself the whole time I was writing it worried it was way too sad. This feels like one of the most classic poppyseedheart fics on the list for this year. Sparse, character-driven, lots of sharp edges, and a happy ending that doesn't just happen by accident. I love these dudes and I'm really pleased with how this one came out even if it's tonally a little... idk, weird! But I love to write a weird little fic you know.
it must have been obvious (skz changjin, 5.5k)
- I had to come back and give these guys their happy ending <3 I will say I am thinking a lot about continuing their story, specifically to explore rocky days early on in their relationship (or maybe even later on!) because they have a lot of potential conflict and one conversation can't preclude all of it. This was a pretty lighthearted and humorous fic so of course I want to go back and retroactively make that feel ominous.... hahaha we'll see if I do it or not.
larger than life when the lightning is right (skz + atz, changbin/wooyoung, 3.5k)
- My crossover fest fic! I had no idea what I was doing with this one. The prompt did the heavy lifting honestly! I did have fun doing alternating timelines and alternating POVs, and I think those worked well. We all know I love an unrequited pining moment. I crammed a lot into 3.5k and I do think it worked, so that's cool! This really was the year of short fic for me.
what happened to fx3 (not clickbait) (original work, written for audio, 8k)
- Ahhhh my little ugly duckling child. No one really cares about most original work on ao3 unless it's really tropey or written by an author who is a bnf in their own right (this is a sweeping generalization but I think mostly fair). I do pod-together with the same group every year and we don't overlap on a ton of fandoms, so we decided to swing big and write a fictional podcast about an investigation into a fictional abandoned wip for a fictional actual play ttrpg show. It's queer and joyful and an ode to fandom I'm honestly really proud of it! Also it sounds good to listen to <3
i know you don't remember (svt jihan, 4k)
- For this event, 7 friends and I all wrote a fic for seventeen with the tropes/requirements of unrequited love, scene in a coffee shop, pet, time loop, and uhhh god something else. I'm sorry I can't remember rn <3 but it was a blast. This one borders on darkfic at times, and I played with the idea of like, losing your mind but in a way that's relatable and understandable. Morals loosening because there aren't consequences anyway. Etc. A bunch of people did not realize it was mine before reveals so that's a bonus little win hehe.
what's mine is yours (skz minchan, 2/3, 21k)
- My pride and joy of the year. I almost never write works in progress but this one is coming out that way and I'm so happy with it. I had the idea for this kind of soulbond (idolverse, chain reaction where members feel/carry a different member's pain) and was worried it was way too whumpy and people would not only not want to read it, but would also think I was weird for wanting to write it. Thankfully I have found my people and I've really enjoyed exploring the questions of like... what are all of the horrible ways love can look? and how do they intertwine with the ways we hurt each other? <3 hehe
bells, bells, bells (skz chanlix, 2k)
- Wedding fluff! I can't believe I used that tag this year. One of the only chatfics I've gone and turned into a fic (thank you Molly). Also the story that pushed me over 50k for nanowrimo this year, yeehaw. It took me about 90 minutes to write which isn't a new record for me but is close. Another one that's closer to being "just a lil fic" than anything groundbreaking in my mind but that's okay.
like you mean it (atz seongjoong, 5k)
- Written for an exchange and also my first fully Ateez fic. Terrifying and on a wild deadline crunch. Way more explicit than anything I usually write?? How did I bang this out we literally don't know but I'm glad I did! I loooove writing canonverse with a magic-ish twist and truth curses are so deeply up my alley. I felt like I spent the whole time writing it running around in a panic but I had very kind friends helping and was relieved at the comments that said my characterization was good (phew!!!)
yuletide fic (revealed soon!)
+ 3 podfics, not including fx3 (which is also a podfic, but i wrote the script for it so i'm counting it as a written fic for the purposes of this!)
In terms of how it felt to write all of these things, this was a year of high highs and low lows! I used about half my nano words to work on an original novel that I don't think has legs in its current form, I wrote and started shopping around a short story that hasn't found a home, and I almost tore my hair out several times with a few of these fics, particularly the ones that have deadlines. I think I'm in another creative growth period where I know what's not working in my writing but not always how to fix it, which is evil. This said, I'm also really deeply proud of a lot of the things I wrote! I did more fluff than usual lol (this is mostly Molly's fault I kept writing her cute chanlixes), but I also wrote some stories that are so deeeeeply in my wheelhouse. what's mine is yours is the most notable one — it's not done and probably won't be for a while, but it's just so me! Weird and mean and speculative and canon-adjacent... I'm really proud of what I have of it and I'm excited to bring it home. I added another fic to my series but it's the way it is, and have written another 6k of another unfinished segment, and that story feels like me finally giving myself permission to write something so true it scares me. I got a lot of really incredible kind feedback on my writing, I'm connected with friends both online and locally (and in many cases both!) who are also writers and who are at similar places/have similar goals to me wrt writing. It's just cool. It was a really fun year creatively in a lot of ways even when I was scared I'm a talentless hack who everyone is just being nice to and indulging lmao. At least I'm having a good time, mostly!
In 2023 I hope to actually complete a novel draft that I feel has potential! I want to write more short stories and keep submitting. I want to try some weird experimental stuff with fic! I liked that people liked my fluffy stories this year but next year I think I want to continue my tradition where anything in that light/fluffy vein is something that doesn't take me longer than a sitting or two to write. I want to keep stretching myself and learning and bumping up against my own walls. I want to see what it takes to bring those walls down, or push them out a little further. And I want to have soooo much fun and get wild and worry less. Idk how all of these things go together but we'll try.
I'd love to join or even start a writing salon near me! My job is gonna be really flexible and I want to take advantage of that and orient things so I have time to do what I love <3 which is writing <3 I mean I'm hoping I'll love my job most days too but that's less in my control yk.
If you have been part of this journey thank you! I love you! We made it through another year — let's go do it again. <3
Tags:
(no subject)
12/1/23 08:44 (UTC)It is also astonishing to me that a low writing year for you is a high, almost pie-in-the-sky high, writing year for me. I guess I do write a lot of stuff that's not prose and isn't reflected in my Ao3 stats? But still. I think often about how MUCH writing you and Sharpa and Cait do, and also so many other fic authors, and how I think many published authors would be shocked by the word counts y'all put up.
Even though I am subscribed, so I did get emails when all of these fics went up, it was interesting to look over them and see which ones I remembered really vividly and which ones I wouldn't have specifically clocked as 2022 fics. And to note I didn't read all of them yet! Have to save a few for cold recording, you know.
I laughed over this line in your wrap up: I'm in another creative growth period where I know what's not working in my writing but not always how to fix it, which is evil. ugh what an insight. I look forward to hearing your thought process as you learn how to solve some of these story problems in the coming year!
I feel like I'm in a creative growth period too, where I'm getting looser with my writing, more willing to try something when I'm not sure of the outcome. I actually think... I want to start more WIPs and not worry about abandoning them. I've always been so careful about what I start because I care so much about follow through. But in drawing I sketch, I doodle. I think I should do that in writing too? I currently have only 2 abandoned fic WIPs in my whole writing history. What a low number! I should do something about that. Maybe I will join your upcoming writing salon and only ever write the first few paragraphs of things and never finish them, and see what that teaches me.
(no subject)
13/1/23 06:14 (UTC)+ yeah numbers are so weird. i think the last time i had an under 200k writing year i was a teenager, lol, it's just so part of my bones at this point. it can't be helped! it's a big priority for me! we'll see how it ebbs and flows over the coming years, if it does, but i just love to make space for it and find ways to streamline my own workflow.
"I look forward to hearing your thought process as you learn how to solve some of these story problems in the coming year" maybe i will only make MORE PROBLEMS!!!! only time will tell!!!!
regardless it was a joy writing words next to you this last year! let's do it a lot more!!
(no subject)
13/1/23 21:21 (UTC)(no subject)
14/1/23 04:09 (UTC)