going away
29/8/23 22:24![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
poppyseedheartThis is a post about turning my public twitter account into a fic feed.
I have been functionally off of that account since June, so to me this decision doesn't feel like a surprise at all from my end. I've been consistently on that account for 4 years!
Twitter has always been a challenging website for me. I pride myself on my ability to make friends fast, but sometimes that bites me in the not-friends-anymore process. I love creating community and events and holding space for fun, and also I have deleted many anonymous messages calling me fake/an attention seeker/overcompensating/etc for doing so. I joked once that of course I seek attention, I'm an air sign. I'll give them that. It doesn't bother me that people think these things so much as it makes me a little sad. Twitter is the high high of a successful sleepover and it's the low low of creeping dread around people trying to find my personal information or intentionally crafting messages meant to hurt my feelings. I'm an adult now, which helps. I'm pretty stable in many arenas of life, and that helps too. But at a certain point I realized I don't need to do this to myself anymore.
A few months ago, a whole lot happened in my personal life all at once. If you're close to me, you know a lot of (if not all of) the details. If not, that's okay, because you really don't need them. Just know that a lot of stuff blew up in my life all at once, particularly in the family sphere, and that things are generally better now. I'm feeling better about it at least. The confluence of stuff, though, resulted in me more or less kicking myself off of Twitter (and a lot of other social media platforms too) entirely for about a month. I turned off all of my notifications. I shoved ZB1 YouTube content into my brain at a frankly absurd rate. I practiced a lot of coping skills.
And then when I felt better, I didn't really feel inclined to be On Twitter TM the way I had been for the last [checks notes, is horrified] a lot of years.
This feels like such a ridiculous post to be making — it's presuming that people care about my life a lot more than I think most people do or should! also it's literally twitter this is not a big deal! — but I'd gotten quite a few questions on Retrospring about this decision and in some ways I do often find that writing about something helps me process it too.
If we're mostly friends on here and not so much other places online, the only change you'll probably notice is I'll post here more often (hell yeah). Despite the dramatic title of this post, the point I actually wanted to make is that I'm not going away! I'm not really going anywhere. I'm just restructuring in a way my brain is really liking.
Dropping the twigsona a little is a bonus perk, but that's probably a different post.
If you read this, thank you for indulging me! I hope you're doing well. If you've made your own little changes lately, or plan to, to feel better online and in this world, I'd love to hear about them.
I have been functionally off of that account since June, so to me this decision doesn't feel like a surprise at all from my end. I've been consistently on that account for 4 years!
Twitter has always been a challenging website for me. I pride myself on my ability to make friends fast, but sometimes that bites me in the not-friends-anymore process. I love creating community and events and holding space for fun, and also I have deleted many anonymous messages calling me fake/an attention seeker/overcompensating/etc for doing so. I joked once that of course I seek attention, I'm an air sign. I'll give them that. It doesn't bother me that people think these things so much as it makes me a little sad. Twitter is the high high of a successful sleepover and it's the low low of creeping dread around people trying to find my personal information or intentionally crafting messages meant to hurt my feelings. I'm an adult now, which helps. I'm pretty stable in many arenas of life, and that helps too. But at a certain point I realized I don't need to do this to myself anymore.
A few months ago, a whole lot happened in my personal life all at once. If you're close to me, you know a lot of (if not all of) the details. If not, that's okay, because you really don't need them. Just know that a lot of stuff blew up in my life all at once, particularly in the family sphere, and that things are generally better now. I'm feeling better about it at least. The confluence of stuff, though, resulted in me more or less kicking myself off of Twitter (and a lot of other social media platforms too) entirely for about a month. I turned off all of my notifications. I shoved ZB1 YouTube content into my brain at a frankly absurd rate. I practiced a lot of coping skills.
And then when I felt better, I didn't really feel inclined to be On Twitter TM the way I had been for the last [checks notes, is horrified] a lot of years.
This feels like such a ridiculous post to be making — it's presuming that people care about my life a lot more than I think most people do or should! also it's literally twitter this is not a big deal! — but I'd gotten quite a few questions on Retrospring about this decision and in some ways I do often find that writing about something helps me process it too.
If we're mostly friends on here and not so much other places online, the only change you'll probably notice is I'll post here more often (hell yeah). Despite the dramatic title of this post, the point I actually wanted to make is that I'm not going away! I'm not really going anywhere. I'm just restructuring in a way my brain is really liking.
Dropping the twigsona a little is a bonus perk, but that's probably a different post.
If you read this, thank you for indulging me! I hope you're doing well. If you've made your own little changes lately, or plan to, to feel better online and in this world, I'd love to hear about them.
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